Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Stimulate Laughter

It's time to start FRESH.
Full of hope
Experiencing desire
Stimulating laughter
Heart of life

Celebrate life, Believe in miracles, Laugh out loud

It's time to embark on a new journey. 2010 is my year. Graduation. Opportunities are starting to arise and I'm realizing that I need to take them. Not only graduation, but this is the last chance I have to impact those who really matter. Well, maybe not last chance....but friends wise, we are all going to different colleges....some still in high school. Peers I may never see again. I just want to make a difference for the better. Maybe that smile in the hallway will do it, or the fist pump in class. Sounds crazy doesn't it? Well if it impacts me, then I can't possibly be the only one. And if I am, then I'm wasting my time, but I truly think otherwise.

In other news, I have consumed SO many goldfish (goldfingers as dorris likes to put it) and peanut M&Ms (thank you miceal.... +29). So many. I somehow lost a good 6 or 7 pounds ...that has to all be back from the past 5 days. Not that it really matters. I'm not one of those calorie watchers and I know it will catch up with me some day but I will worry about it then.

Valentine's day is this sunday. I'm going to see Valentine's Day. :]

All things are gonna happen naturally. Go with the flow. Follow your heart. Let it happen. Don't dwell...or over think. DON'T OVER THINK.

at the same time, don't be naive. Almost seems impossible, doesn't it?

Yours until goldfish don't exist,

Saturday, January 30, 2010

i love jelly beans

Have you ever felt like you have everything figured out, but you're lost at the same time? It's really interesting. I kind of feel like that right now. But it's not a bad feeling.
I have had such an amazing week of greatness. I am now reminded seven days later that there is a real world and, oh yeah...my life to pre-amazing week of greatness still exists. Sometimes you just want to forget about the bad things in life. And then you realize they aren't bad.

I'm going to watch a movie. I'll expand more later

yours until it rains green apple jelly beans

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Nice Boot....

hahahaha...thats really effin weird that I put this in my blog

oh, and this:

Since I don't really know what college I want to go to...I want this. :)
Maybe when I get a spare twenty dollars I will buy it for myself...

I'm way too busy this weekend. I have to be in two places at once at two different times. shoot. SHOOT. SHOOT!

This was a pointless blog. Oh By The Way. My pencil broke, so what's the point?? AHHHhahhahahah.

oh me.

yours until eyeballs are unnecessary

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


As I was picking out quarters out of samuel, my piggy bank, I started to think about money. And I thought what if these chips that I am going to buy were free. Then the grocery store would have lost money. So in order for them being free to be okay, the chips would have had to be free to the store. That means the factory would be losing money so the materials couldn't have cost anything. THAT means the people who made those materials couldn't get a pay check. If everything worked like that, then no one would need money, and everything would be free. HAHAHAHA. That would never work. No I'm not color blind. I know the world is black and white. What a thought, though.

Tiger this, Tiger that. I would be the first to say I'm TIRED OF TIGER. It's getting ridiculous. I'm sorry to bring it up again, but I'm watching ESPN and the news guy says that they heard from an unnamed source that Tiger Woods checked into a Sex Rehabilitation Facility in Mississipi.....but officials have not claimed he is there and neither has ESPN.
...So let me get this straight. The news is sharing stories that can be completely untrue. That's why I hate the news. Not that ESPN is news. My point was killed. Oh well, you get it.

That's all I have to say tonight. It's hard to put the rest of my thoughts into words. I feel so weird. Not sad but almost. But it's not a bad sad. And it's not an I miss you sad. But almost. Who do I miss. I don't even know anymore. I just miss the times where I had karate every thursday night and fractions for homework. It's impossible to figure out life, but I better figure something out with all this thinking I've been doing. It's time to prioritize. That's tough to do in this complicated society. Who matters in my life will prove it; have proven it. The things that matter don't really matter all that much. But they unfortunately do. That made sense to me, but to a sensible person I contradicted myself a bunch. What's the point.

Yours until money doesn't exist.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Everybody Loves Raymond.

Simplicity is a hard concept to acheive. Love is a hard thing to do. So I've been thinking a lot lately about everything. Everything. A lot of the time, I do this thing where I start thinking about something and then I realize that I'm doing it so I force myself to stop; I force myself to hide from whatever the thought might be...problems, concepts, schoolwork. It can be anything, really. Mostly problems though. It gets to the point where everything builds up and then I finally have one big huge freak out. It's really not mentally healthy. So the point of this explanation is personal acceptance. I now know that I do this, so I'm attempting to STOP. Let myself think. Let those thoughts flowwwwwwww.
I've been thinking a lot about religion. It's so damn confusing. There's a bible with the "Word of God" and that's that. Live by the golden rule and don't judge people. Why does there have to be so much baggage. So many different denominations of christianity, of anything for that matter. People really do make it hard for a kid like me. kid. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm still a kid. I haven't hit 21 yet, so that means I'm still a kid. Anyway, what's with all these people saying "you'll know" when god comes into your life. YOU'LL just KNOW. WHATT? How is a kid supposed to understand/believe that. I'm yelling, someone's got the answers,but i'd rather think there's nothing to be found. What if I don't want to know and figure everything out. I mean its a scary though. I think it's perosnal. Everyone is different. Differnet beliefs work for different people and if they are satisfied and they live a healthy life, what is the problem there? I wish it was simple. Simplicity is impossible. People make life impossible. BUT ...on the other hand, if I think that way, then that's definitely how it's going to be. DUH it will be impossible and obnoxious. Like if I THINK I'll fail a test...I probably won't do all that well. It's all mental. Mind over matter. My grandma used to say that all the time. I miss her. We used to go on picnics.

On a higher note, I went on a picnic today at jarvis. It was nice. SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY. It wasn't as planned but it was still nice. Sitting in silence is not a bad thing. If it's a good kind of silence, the people have this sense of acceptance. Kinda like...who the hell cares if it's silent. I have nothing to say. That doesn't mean I'm boring...even though I am kind of boring. But, that's okay, who isn't a little boring sometimes?

I have to work on being a better sister...keep my end of the bargain. Not that being a sibling has to have a bargain. But I mean, in this case it does. Brady is a good brother. He's right all the time, it just gets on my nerves a bunch.

People need to stop being so fucking judgmental.
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words...

I like being called beautiful.
Call it conceited or whatever. Just saying.

OH BY THE WAY.... I ate like between ten and fifteen cookies. It hurts so good. ....meaning I need to do some sit ups. Who cares, though. Its winter-almost-springtime. Probably not a good mind set but HEY, it works for me.

Ever know someone that's just so good that you feel vile most of the time....you realize you've been living your whole life being selfish and silly doing dumb things. And THEN you realize its all fake; all an act. Catherine may know more about life than she lets on. Come see the Foreigner. You'll know what I mean. Man that play is taking over my life, my mood. My character is an edgy, sarcastic, ex-debutante. I'm sorry to all of those who are affected that don't even read this block.
Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?
I'll come around eventually....always do
Thanks to those who understand and do wait it out. That's the best kind of friend.

I love people. Even though sometimes I get confused....I really do love people. There is good in everyone. Believe it.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

don't read

I am uninteresting and have nothing to say. The point of a blog is to let out your feelings and say...or type...anything you want and who cares because it's your blog, right? WRONG.


yours until elvis dies.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Just Breathe

I love this cold weather but I really do wish I had warmer clothes to compensate for it. I mean at least a cute beanie or something. Scarves have been doing a pretty good job though, I must say.

I just found a series of short poem type things that I wrote about a year ago:

Don't know who to turn to
Don't know where to run from
Wrapped up in confusion
Is this what my life's become?
Trust is a beautiful verb
If it's used the way it should be.
But if I've been hurt or broken,
What do you expect of me?
If "Nice guys finish last,"
Then do nice girls win the race?
I am starting to find
That this is not the case.

Interesting. I guess those make a pretty good amount of sense, the first two at least. The third one is just stupid. Must have been a rough time or something. Weird thing is that I can sort of still relate to them I think. It's been a weird twenty four hours. Things are not looking up. People don't deserve to go through pain. The world is spending an uncountable amount of money on unnecessary electronic advancements, when an uncountable amount of people are dying from cancer as we speak. I don't think it's right. Money can be better spent. That's all I'm saying. I mean the iTouch and all of it's apps are great, don't get me wrong. But the world was getting along great without it.

midol time.
Yours until I cure cancer