i love jelly beans

Have you ever felt like you have everything figured out, but you're lost at the same time? It's really interesting. I kind of feel like that right now. But it's not a bad feeling.
I have had such an amazing week of greatness. I am now reminded seven days later that there is a real world and, oh yeah...my life to pre-amazing week of greatness still exists. Sometimes you just want to forget about the bad things in life. And then you realize they aren't bad.

I'm going to watch a movie. I'll expand more later

yours until it rains green apple jelly beans

...odd

Nice Boot....


hahahaha...thats really effin weird that I put this in my blog

oh, and this:




Since I don't really know what college I want to go to...I want this. :)
Maybe when I get a spare twenty dollars I will buy it for myself...

I'm way too busy this weekend. I have to be in two places at once at two different times. shoot. SHOOT. SHOOT!

This was a pointless blog. Oh By The Way. My pencil broke, so what's the point?? AHHHhahhahahah.

oh me.

yours until eyeballs are unnecessary

$candal?

As I was picking out quarters out of samuel, my piggy bank, I started to think about money. And I thought what if these chips that I am going to buy were free. Then the grocery store would have lost money. So in order for them being free to be okay, the chips would have had to be free to the store. That means the factory would be losing money so the materials couldn't have cost anything. THAT means the people who made those materials couldn't get a pay check. If everything worked like that, then no one would need money, and everything would be free. HAHAHAHA. That would never work. No I'm not color blind. I know the world is black and white. What a thought, though.

Tiger this, Tiger that. I would be the first to say I'm TIRED OF TIGER. It's getting ridiculous. I'm sorry to bring it up again, but I'm watching ESPN and the news guy says that they heard from an unnamed source that Tiger Woods checked into a Sex Rehabilitation Facility in Mississipi.....but officials have not claimed he is there and neither has ESPN.
...So let me get this straight. The news is sharing stories that can be completely untrue. That's why I hate the news. Not that ESPN is news. My point was killed. Oh well, you get it.

That's all I have to say tonight. It's hard to put the rest of my thoughts into words. I feel so weird. Not sad but almost. But it's not a bad sad. And it's not an I miss you sad. But almost. Who do I miss. I don't even know anymore. I just miss the times where I had karate every thursday night and fractions for homework. It's impossible to figure out life, but I better figure something out with all this thinking I've been doing. It's time to prioritize. That's tough to do in this complicated society. Who matters in my life will prove it; have proven it. The things that matter don't really matter all that much. But they unfortunately do. That made sense to me, but to a sensible person I contradicted myself a bunch. What's the point.

Yours until money doesn't exist.

Everybody Loves Raymond.

Simplicity is a hard concept to acheive. Love is a hard thing to do. So I've been thinking a lot lately about everything. Everything. A lot of the time, I do this thing where I start thinking about something and then I realize that I'm doing it so I force myself to stop; I force myself to hide from whatever the thought might be...problems, concepts, schoolwork. It can be anything, really. Mostly problems though. It gets to the point where everything builds up and then I finally have one big huge freak out. It's really not mentally healthy. So the point of this explanation is personal acceptance. I now know that I do this, so I'm attempting to STOP. Let myself think. Let those thoughts flowwwwwwww.
I've been thinking a lot about religion. It's so damn confusing. There's a bible with the "Word of God" and that's that. Live by the golden rule and don't judge people. Why does there have to be so much baggage. So many different denominations of christianity, of anything for that matter. People really do make it hard for a kid like me. kid. I mean I'm pretty sure I'm still a kid. I haven't hit 21 yet, so that means I'm still a kid. Anyway, what's with all these people saying "you'll know" when god comes into your life. YOU'LL just KNOW. WHATT? How is a kid supposed to understand/believe that. I'm yelling, someone's got the answers,but i'd rather think there's nothing to be found. What if I don't want to know and figure everything out. I mean its a scary though. I think it's perosnal. Everyone is different. Differnet beliefs work for different people and if they are satisfied and they live a healthy life, what is the problem there? I wish it was simple. Simplicity is impossible. People make life impossible. BUT ...on the other hand, if I think that way, then that's definitely how it's going to be. DUH it will be impossible and obnoxious. Like if I THINK I'll fail a test...I probably won't do all that well. It's all mental. Mind over matter. My grandma used to say that all the time. I miss her. We used to go on picnics.

On a higher note, I went on a picnic today at jarvis. It was nice. SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY. It wasn't as planned but it was still nice. Sitting in silence is not a bad thing. If it's a good kind of silence, the people have this sense of acceptance. Kinda like...who the hell cares if it's silent. I have nothing to say. That doesn't mean I'm boring...even though I am kind of boring. But, that's okay, who isn't a little boring sometimes?

I have to work on being a better sister...keep my end of the bargain. Not that being a sibling has to have a bargain. But I mean, in this case it does. Brady is a good brother. He's right all the time, it just gets on my nerves a bunch.

People need to stop being so fucking judgmental.
maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm
in the mood to lose my way with words...

I like being called beautiful.
Call it conceited or whatever. Just saying.

OH BY THE WAY.... I ate like between ten and fifteen cookies. It hurts so good. ....meaning I need to do some sit ups. Who cares, though. Its winter-almost-springtime. Probably not a good mind set but HEY, it works for me.

Ever know someone that's just so good that you feel vile most of the time....you realize you've been living your whole life being selfish and silly doing dumb things. And THEN you realize its all fake; all an act. Catherine may know more about life than she lets on. Come see the Foreigner. You'll know what I mean. Man that play is taking over my life, my mood. My character is an edgy, sarcastic, ex-debutante. I'm sorry to all of those who are affected that don't even read this block.
Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?
I'll come around eventually....always do.
Thanks to those who understand and do wait it out. That's the best kind of friend.

I love people. Even though sometimes I get confused....I really do love people. There is good in everyone. Believe it.

don't read

Hello.
I am uninteresting and have nothing to say. The point of a blog is to let out your feelings and say...or type...anything you want and who cares because it's your blog, right? WRONG.

;dddddfjkla;sdjgfaiejfmdnfg;kajdhfa;ie

yours until elvis dies.

Just Breathe

I love this cold weather but I really do wish I had warmer clothes to compensate for it. I mean at least a cute beanie or something. Scarves have been doing a pretty good job though, I must say.

I just found a series of short poem type things that I wrote about a year ago:

Don't know who to turn to

Don't know where to run from

Wrapped up in confusion

Is this what my life's become?

--

Trust is a beautiful verb

If it's used the way it should be.

But if I've been hurt or broken,

What do you expect of me?

--

If "Nice guys finish last,"

Then do nice girls win the race?

I am starting to find

That this is not the case.

Interesting. I guess those make a pretty good amount of sense, the first two at least. The third one is just stupid. Must have been a rough time or something. Weird thing is that I can sort of still relate to them I think. It's been a weird twenty four hours. Things are not looking up. People don't deserve to go through pain. The world is spending an uncountable amount of money on unnecessary electronic advancements, when an uncountable amount of people are dying from cancer as we speak. I don't think it's right. Money can be better spent. That's all I'm saying. I mean the iTouch and all of it's apps are great, don't get me wrong. But the world was getting along great without it.

midol time.

Yours until I cure cancer

Nothing exciting.

I decided to start this one off with some nice images. Found these on a website titled "WTF Photos From Old Times," and since I legitimately spent a good ten minutes on the site, I decided to share a few of my favorites.

Anywho, this week was average. First week back from break and I can't really complain at all. Life could be worse. The Foreigner is going okay. Pil says he thinks it has potential so that's gotta mean something. I'm actually not dreading rehearsals this time. I don't know if it's the cast or the show or both? Pleasant surprise.

Gage leaves tomorrow :( Christmas break was fun while it lasted. Good luck with your dream schedule! I will give you your homemade christmas present eventually when I finish it via snail mail. I have your address on my dresser so we're set.

I have the sniffles and I don't mind but I'm too lazy to get up and get a tissue. Don't you hate when that happens?

I am not feeling this blog.

Yours until the moon turns purple

Lonze

Man. It's time to put things into perspective. I mean really take what is important and keep it in my life, and then the rest of the stuff...can just go away. Family, friends, and health are generally the parts that make up who I am. My mom is amazing. My dad is also amazing. My brother is amazing. My friends are amazing. I'm so thankful for that. And my health, I'm lucky. There are so many people that don't deserve the cards they get dealt...if you know what I mean. I wish there was something we could do.

I am at a confused time right now. Who the hell cares what other people think. Who cares who I hang out with? If anyone were to judge, they don't matter anyway. I mean...it's hard to say that stuff doesn't get to me, but I consciously know that it shouldn't.

You ever feel like you just want to be there for a person, but you don't know how? I feel like that so much these days. It's awful.

These paragraphs are getting shorter as I go. That either means I'm tired or am running out of things to say.

It's the first.

Yours Until the Cement Melts

P.S. I lonze a lot

SEAL?

"Crasher Seal Photobombs Group of Penguins"

........aaaaaahhHH!!!!

So today was average. Not bad...not good. I'm trying so hard to follow through with my resolution of not getting defensive and annoyed. It's not easy. I'm tired. I'm glad people are getting blogs. And I'm finding people's blogs. I enjoy reading them.

My day wasn't really notable at all that I can think of. Nothing happened out of the ordinary. I turned extremely RED today in class but that happens to me a lot. Some kid was cheating on a test with my textbook because he asked me for it at the beginning of class and then teach was like MAH MAH MAHHH marissa's book! then everyone stared at me and pointed out that I was turning red. That didn't help. I just got redder. One hispanic kid even yelled rojo. Idiots. all of them. Or maybe I was the idiot for giving the kid my textbook. Who really cares.

BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So... There's this thing that I have thought for a long time ever since like freshman year but I convinced myself I was crazy. But now it's like ...the cool thing to think so I can't think it anymore because thats what everyone's thinking. Knew this would happen. CHILD.

Milk chug is gross. I mean I'm sorry. If I didn't hate throw up, I would be all for it. I mean who isn't up for a little friendly, chunky competition?

Shoot. I have to go write an essay. Dr. R says the darndest things. Let's start a show of all the fun things she says. But wait we can't do that because ...we just can't. I'm lazy. My eyelids are getting heavy.

Yours until pigs fly,

Mars

sweet vid

I just slept from 5:00pm-10:30pm. It's now midnight and feels like 7pm. What a weird sensation.

Tough Day at the Office

My left eye has been twitching all day while yesterday the right one was red.

I can't go to disney world.

Today sucked. You know the feeling you get when you are just so frustrated that you want to yell and scream? Well I should feel like that but I'm just in one of those moods where I don't even feel like it. I'm glad I can type in this lovely blog because you know when you talk about things out loud that you're really frustrated with you almost cry? I do at least...so I don't even have to worry about crying because my fingers are doing all the work.

That's what she said.

So...how is your day? Hopefully great because the weather is really nice. I love the brisk cold air and the clear blue sky. Those are the best kinds of days-next to autumn days that is- where you just want to take a stroll and keep walking. and walking. and then eventually you wind up back where you started. ...where there's a nice fire in the fireplace and dinner in the oven that you can smell. My, my. That's the perfect day. Then you plop on the couch in front of the fire and sit. Doing whatever you want. Telephone call, TV, computer, cards. yeahhhhhhhhhh. That's the life.

Picture of the day:


It would have been fun.

Dear World

Secret Life of an American Teenager is the stupidest show I have ever seen in my life, yet I find myself addicted to watching it. I'm up to my second show in a row. Half way through the first episode, my mom and I decided to count how many times the word "sex" is used. The second episode has 20 minutes left and we're already up to 87. That's all it is about... Cracks me up.

I get to wonder for the next four days without being annoying. Can't wait. I don't feel like ex plaining and it's not my place. It's my blog that no one reads anyway so who cares. I just hope everything is going to be okay.

My stomach hurt all day today. I don't even know why. It was cold too.

Okay, okay...I'm done complaining.

I wonder if my mom is reading over my shoulder. That sure would be weird. I don't think she is.

Sex count is at 107. 20 times in 10 minutes. That averages 2 times per minute. fyi

What the hell is up with George Lopez and Jacki Chan starring in a movie together. What is the world coming to? Movies.

goodnight, world.

Fat Chances

Ooooooh, a 2010 tab arrow thing in the archive. WOAH.

New decade. It feels like yesterday when the computers were supposed to blow up at the turn of the century. I was seven. Time sure does fly. I can only imagine how close 2020 is going to be. I hear as you get older, time goes by faster. Joy.

I usually make new years resolutions that I end up forgetting about, but I haven't this year. I guess my biggest resolution is to become a little less defensive with people. I don't know where it has come from, but I've been super edgy and defensive... that's gotta stop. I also would love to do sit ups every day. Maybe if I blog that thought it might happen. Fat chance. But it was a good thought.

Shout out to Cranium, that board game. Played it the other day....won. Go Team Marissa and Charlie! My favorite part was when charlie described an actor as "In an ice skating movie and not funny anymore"...I immediately got Will Ferrel. Golden.

The cold weather is great; I'm not used to it at all, but I really don't mind it. Running from my car to my house was kind of fun. ...Even though I partly ran because I have a creepy neighborhood (not really) and it was dark. Either way, though.

Good luck at school. Happy year :]